[Susanna Sonnenberg] ☆ She Matters [hackers PDF] Ebook Epub Download ☆ babyandbeyondshow.co.uk

[Susanna Sonnenberg] ☆ She Matters [hackers PDF] Ebook Epub Download ☆ The reviews I read on this book had me thinking it would be a great commentary on female friendships and how strong and necessary they are I was very disappointed The author s view on female friendships mostly consisted of what SHE could get out of the friendship Before I was done with the first chapter, it was clear to me the author was not someone I d like to have as a friend, and she whether knowingly or not painted a truly selfish, narcissitic picture of herself throughout the book She seemed to want pity or attention all the time, from all of her friendships, and when she didn t get what she was looking for, she held grudges and brought it back up to the friend who betrayed her needs years after the event There was no great wisdom imparted by the author, and in fact, she didn t get why some of her friendships didn t work when it in fact seemed painfully obvious that she often just took, took, and took somein most of her friendships She exhausted people, and they often got nothing in return Hardly a friendship Hardly a friend Hardly worth the read.
Female friendship can be every bit as complex, intense and rewarding as a marriage Having had many ups and downs with female friends, I was excited to see Sonnenberg s memoir, which delves intothan a dozen different relationships the author has had with women, in an attempt to unpick some of the themes and needs that bring women together and drive them apart Certainly, Sonnenberg is well qualified to write this book She has had every variety of female friendship older friends mentors, younger gal pals, crushes, a relationship that turned sexual, lifelong friends and right for just now friends And she is intense to a fault about her relationships People new acquaintances, old friends tell me I m intense, sometimes too much, she writes This is a well written book, but for me it fell short of what I wanted it to be, which is to say that it only resonated slightly with my own life experience I felt that Sonnenberg s attitude to her relationships was molded by two early, formative experiences that she describes here having a privileged background with a beautiful, cocaine snorting mother, and being seduced abused by her high school English teacher Understandably, these experiences leave her with trust issues that sometimes play out in her friendships they also leave her with the neediness intensity she describes above Every woman she meets seems to become her BFF for a period there s no sense of the relationships overlapping, or except in a few cases how they play out over the long term My experience is wider and shallower lots of interesting female friends but no real BFFs In summary, this is a good memoir but I couldn t help wishing it had been a bitanalytical and universal.
Though I thought it ended rather abruptly, I truly enjoyed this book by the end I must admit to being attracted to any story that involves a level of dysfunction I also found myself fascinated by her ability to break down each friendship and see it for what it truly was is, with an honesty that I marvel at I found the very frank moments kind of refreshing and I would be a liar if I said it hadn t got me thinkingabout the friends I have had I am now reflecting on what they meant to me at the time , how I may have used them both intentionally and not, what I wanted from them, what I got from them, what they may have gotten from me , who I was when I was with them , whether I was able to be ME with them , and what if any profound and or lasting impressions the women I have called friends may have had on me and my life I am amazed at the authors ability to speak of her past friendships as if she knew all along exactly what kind of give and take was going on In short , this book has me thinking that s a good thing right I tried to separate the writing from the writer After reading her first memoir, I wanted to like both The writing depended on a lifetime of failed friendships, and ultimately, the writing failed because the writer relied on the stories writing themselves I didn t finish the book because I lost interest I rolled my eyes a lot and felt that her narcissism got in the way of any real growth, in both the writing and her own development.
I kept thinking she would be happier and better off with a woman There seems to be a ton of latent homosexual tendencies that could have made for healthier relationships if the writer had known accepted responded to them Seemed very 1950s.
This was her second memoir mentions a number of times the first one, which apparently focused on growing up with an extremely irresponsible mother In this one, lots of her difficulties with female friends get attributed to her issues with her Mom.
On the plus side, she has a way with words and makes some vivid observations of people e.
g.
, about how disconcerting it is to re meet someone as an adult whom you knew as a child and places e.
g.
, Missoula, Montana, where she lives.
The pluses are, however, for me far outweighed by the minuses Seems odd to say about a presumably true account of life, but it was too repetitive Each chapter concerns a different female friend the one she knew from Summer camp, the RA from her boarding school dorm, the one she had a sexual affair with during study abroad semester, the Mommy friend from when she had her baby , and the pattern is basically the same each time.
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1 they meet cute, bumping into one another on move in day or being in the same writing workshop and making eye contact or.
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2 they quickly become apparently mutually hard to get a sense of this, but the author must be very charming at first intensely connected, preoccupied with each other, having great walks together etc etc.
3 the friend either gets upset that author is mainly focused on herself people seem to give her candid feedback in general one said by email I can t be friends with you any You shit on everything important to me , or else does something that shows inattention to the author e.
g.
, one who was going through a horrible divorce forgot author s birthday and tried to apologize later, but to no avail because.
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4 author loses it and cuts the person off forever5 analysis of how it s her Mom s fault follows There is no shortage of drama She never just reflects on a friendship and concludes something like well, we really enjoyed seeing each other a lot when we lived nearby, but after she moved we eventually lost contact But when the drama seems to stem over and over from the same disagreeable traits of the protagonist, it becomes a slog to read Any one chapter probably would make a good stand alone essay or article, but one or two would suffice.
Update I finished the book so I could participate in book club I walk away with a few thoughts 1 having a maternal role model is very important in a young girl s life without one, as a girl matures, she makes fruitless attempts at replicating that missing role through failed relationships 2 I am forever grateful that my mother was and still is an incredible role model for me and my sister 3 I will strive to be a role model for my daughters and count my blessings that my daughters also have my mom and sister as role models Hating this book Not sure I can finish it The author has dragged me along countless failed friendships, without learning or growth Selfish, narcissistic, juvenile I complain about it so much that my husband first asked that I stop talking about it, but then asked that I stop reading it Before the sequester, while I was complaining about the book, my husband asked if I got to the lesbian part yet He has not read the book, he was just making a brash generalization about women who write memoirs about relationships Lo and behold, he was right In the most cliched way possible, the author worked in an experimental lesbian affair complete with college, studying abroad I wanted to finish the book, as I have an upcoming book club meeting to discuss But I just don t know if I can do it.
A Ruthless And Illuminating Exploration Of The Friendships That Dominated, Influenced, Nourished, Inspired, Haunted And Sometimes Tore Her Apart Susanna Sonnenberg Has Written A Book As Searing And Superb As Her First Book About Her Mother, Her Last Death Childhood Friendships, Friendships With Older Women, Friendships That Play Out With The Passion And Intensity Of Love Affairs, The Friendships Between New Mothers Each Has Its Own Subtleties, Its Own Lessons That Sonnenberg Examines And Understands With Astounding Acuity Sonnenberg S Style Is Investigative And Ruminative The Result Is Candid And Fearlessly Observed Portraits Of The Nuances And Complexities Of Friendships That Become Universally RecognizableFor Women Of All Ages, She Matters Is Testimony To The Emotional Significance Of The Sometimes Intense And Powerful Bonds Of Female Friendships And Their Essential Role They Play In Our Journey To Adulthood, And Our Deepening Humanity I heard about this book on NPR one day and immediately went home and got it on my Nook I can t say it was a great book, but it was really a very good book It actually is not just about friendship, but also about boundaries and personal growth Susanna Sonnenberg took a good look at herself over the years and delivered these stories with a very honest dialogue about herself She owns her shortcomings and failures and is completely unapologetic about her faults I know in my lifetime I ve had a number of close female friendships that would start off strong and intense then crash and burn Sometimes I had no idea why or what happened Sometimes I knew but just didn t care I found that I recognized the woman in these stories as she grew over the years I m not at all saying our lives are similar or that we share a common background Far from it, actually But, I can say that I ve experienced some of the same feelings, thoughts and overall experiences as she has and can really appreciate what she has to say.
I loved Sonnenberg s first book, an account of growing up with a troubled and abusive mother And while I enjoyed this book at first, I eventually put it down out of sheer exhaustion The author is like a blood sucker, needy and selfish, wantingfrom her friends, while refusing to give anything in return I was so sick of her No wonder all her friends leave her, she s like a carbon copy of her crazy mom This is a GoodReads First Reads Giveaways review Sonnenberg s recollection of friendships she has shared, past and present, is blatantly honest and humorous She uses vivid colors that saturate her canvas as she paints a picture we probably have all seen before whether we d like to admit it or not If you look up the word friend in the dictionary, it provides several definitions Each one perfectly fitting, depending on which friend one may be referring to of course One defines a friend as a member of the same nation or party Now, personally, I consider some of my co workers friends just because we share the same office, a nation But, I can recall quite a few harrowing days that I know I wouldn t dare reach out to them for advice or looking for a shoulder to cry on Another describes friend as a person who is on good terms with one another, one who is not hostile The author has told a couple of stories where she is on good terms witha friend, but she described them to be people who are almost the complete opposite of hostile.
In this memoir, she goes on to explain that throughout life, we all need friends as we grow Whether we actually want them, or have time for them, the need is still in abundance Sometimes pals stick around for a lot longer than we expected, and some of the times they vanish before we even realize they ve been drifting apart Either way, Sonnenberg has penned the truth and perhaps will open readers eyes a little wider to recognizing that it simportant for ourselves to be a chum, rather then depend on another.